council of light gemstone

Well right now im sitting at reds. I should be in school but i woke up this morning with a terrible pain in my stomache...again. This is the third time ive been to the doctors with this pain and everytime they say wait it out and come back. Everytime i wait i feel like its getting worse. Im kinda scared to go this time cuz the last 2 times she said that theyd have to do all these tests if it doesnt go away and it didnt. I wish heather was here to be with me but i know she cant, i do know that if she could she would. I miss her so much. I cant wait for her to come home so i can see her. I think i found her a car which makes me feel good but knowing my luck for some reason it wont pull through. Im worried about her coming back here and not having everything work out the way she hopes it will. I dont want her to have a bad life. Things seem to be working out for her in colorado. I know all she needs is a car and once she has that shell be all set but idk for some reason i just think something will go wrong. I got really upset last night and almost broke up with her because i feel like shit that i dont really help her out that much. It sucks to feel like your not good enough for the person you love. She says i am but saying one thing and making someone believe you are completly opposite. I dont know. Well im about to go to the doctors so ill write back later or something...peace
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